This is the air I breathe,
Your holy presence living in me.
This is my daily bread,
This is my daily bread,
Your very word spoken to me.
And I, I'm desperate for you
And I, I'm lost without you.."
It was my typical Tuesday night. I found myself sitting in Mitchell's coffee house for Renew chapel, in a room filled with almost 100 other college students. It's crowded. People are sitting on each others laps and on the floor. You can barely move. But you know that God is going to show up.
Charlie starts playing guitar and praying, and I knew in my heart God wanted to speak to not only me, but everyone in that room. Thoughts started crossing my mind about finances and how in the world was I going to pay for this missions trip to Zambia. But something SO CRAZY happened. Charlie started singing "Came to my rescue" by Hillsong. Why is that so crazy? It's crazy because every time I have started to worry about money this week, that song just pops up! So I knew God was speaking to me.
I just sat there in His presence. I lifted my hands, closed my eyes, and went to that place where it was just me and Jesus. Worship is continuing, and the song "Breathe" starts being sung by one of the worship team members. I naturally start singing along, when God started speaking this:
"What if I actually sustained you? What would your life be like if you let me be your lungs? I should be essential to your life! My child, how many times a day do you eat physical food, but how many times a day do you feast on MY very WORDS? I want to come and be the sustainer of your life. I want to give you breath. So my child, what if I actually was your sustainer?"
God certainly knows how to leave me speechless. So I sat there. Completely still, just pondering his words. And I began to ask myself "what if I really lived my life like that?" If I truly believed God was my portion and my sustainer, I would not worry over things like finances for Zambia. I wouldn't worry about my tomorrow because I know that the God who holds my tomorrow is the same God who I am breathing in today. I just sat there and cried, realizing how much more complicated I have been making my life by not letting God sustain me. Here is the definition of sustain. Is God all of this to you?
sus·tain
[suh-steyn]
Show IPA–verb (used with object)
1.
to support, hold, or bear up from below; bear the weight of,as a structure.
2.
to bear (a burden, charge, etc.).
3.
to undergo, experience, or suffer (injury, loss, etc.); endurewithout giving way or yielding.
4.
to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, etc.) from givingway, as under trial or affliction.
5.
to keep up or keep going, as an action or process: to sustaina conversation.
6.
to supply with food, drink, and other necessities of life.
7.
to provide for (an institution or the like) by furnishing meansor funds.
8.
to support (a cause or the like) by aid or approval.
