I'll Make You Bullet Proof.

I came across one of my most favorite songs today. Every time I hear it, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to be with my husband. A lot of people know our story, but most don't. 

It actually started in January 2010. I was away at college in Florida and had been seeking God and praying earnestly for my future husband. Hours and hours were spent on my face for whoever it was that God had designed just for me. Through prayer, it almost felt as if I began to know him. I know it sounds crazy, and maybe it is...

One night I sat on the bleachers at the soccer field so overwhelmed with relationships and the fear of wasting my time dating someone who I wasn't supposed to be with. In my spirit I felt God tell me "In two years you'll know." Okay...in two years I would meet him? be married? like, what does that even mean? 

Fast forwarding past broken hearts and mistakes, we reach January 2012. For several months I had been attending a young adult bible study and our group was going away on a retreat with another young adult group. So one of the guys and I decided to go visit the other group a few weeks in advance so we could get to know some people. We walk in and I saw Matthew. And immediately in my heart I heard "It's been  two years and I told you that you would know." 

Matthew approaches and we catch up, since he and I actually grew up together and were friends as children. It had been years since we had seen each other so naturally we wanted to talk about everything. 

Within a month we both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were to be together. This was who God had designed just for me. This was the man that I would stand side by side with forever; doing ministry, raising a family, saving the world. 

No one understood why we dated, got engaged, and married in 11 months. But we did. Cause when you know, well, you know! And I had years of prayer for him going into our relationship. Our relationship was, and is, founded in praying together and seeking our Father, to push each other to know Him deeper. 

I'm so blessed to be so loved and understood. To have someone who models Christ's love for me everyday. I wouldn't trade or change one moment. I love you, Matty J. To the moon and back. I'm so glad you and I were made for this embrace. 

Embrace. (Here's the song!) 

One chapters ending is another chapters beginning.

It's the last day of 2013. I'm sitting here watching my son roll around on his play mat and listening to him squeal in delight.

What a year this has been. In January we found out we were pregnant, got a puppy, and found out how serious my mother-in-laws cancer was all in the same week. On February 14th, my Grandpop was hospitalized for a month. March we had our first ultrasound and glimpse at our baby. April we found out that we were having a boy- the next day my mother-in-law passed away, which was May 1st. June 3rd, my Grandpop was rushed back to the hospital for weeks. July 4th we found out he had stage 4 lung cancer. On the 18th he passed away. In August at 9 months pregnant, we found out we no longer had health insurance and my husband and I both were not working. September brought to us a new job for Matthew with benefits (!) and the greatest little blessing, Eli Joseph.

2013 gave us many other challenges but also many great blessings. We have made lifetime friends. We've seen God's provision and protection in ways we've never experienced before. I'm so grateful to be in the place we're at right now. And I'm so grateful for every single thing that's happened this year. I'm grateful to be married to a man that has stood by my side through it all.

We are blessed.

Happiness comes from what happens. Joy comes from a constant, unchanging source. And that is just one thing this year has taught me.

So...2014. What do you have in store for us? We shall see! 

His ways are not our ways.

It's taken 19 months for me to get behind the keys again. And here I am. In the past 19 months my life has changed drastically. I'm now a wife to an amazing man and a mom to a beautiful baby boy! My son is 10 weeks old today and has finally mastered the art of napping- it's wonderful. So I am taking full advantage of the moment! 

Today I was reflecting on my life and how it is NOTHING like what I thought it would be. Over and over I kept hearing the words of Isaiah in my spirit: 

"MY thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine [...] for my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." 

Isn't that a relief? Taking those words to heart, I began to look back at my ways. I wonder: where would I be today, December 3rd 2013, if I followed my own way, my own plan, my own heart? The heart is deceitful. In our own skin we think we know what's best for us. Would I be married? If so, to who? Would I be a mother? Would I be happy? 

I had many opportunities to have different answers to those questions. At one time I thought I knew the answers to those questions. But God had a higher way for me. He had better thoughts towards me than I had toward myself. He had mercy on my life to change the direction it was headed. By grace He led me to His perfect match for me in the timing HE decided. And in that same timing, He saw fit to give us a child. Obedience to His leading led me straight into His will for my life, no matter how strange it seemed.  

No, I honestly never saw myself marrying my childhood friend. All those play dates with us and our siblings never registered on anyone's radar that we were soul mates. Although, he should have known the day I asked him if his legs were broken...but that's another story! 

Here we are 12 days away from our one year anniversary. Who would have thought? Certainly not either of us! But again I am reminded that His "ways are higher" and much better! My heart is so full of thankfulness and praise. 

I just want to encourage anyone who may currently be disappointed by where you are in life. Maybe you thought you were headed in the right direction and it didn't work out the way you thought it was supposed to. Lift your head; HIS ways are higher! You might not be able to see it now, but the plan you thought was perfect might have been your biggest disaster. Trust God. Trust His leading. He could be leading you into His perfect will. Trust it. Even if it seems unlikely or far from what you thought, just remember His thoughts are higher. He sees the bigger picture; we only see the pieces. I sure am glad I'm not where I thought I would be. 

From my journey to yours, 
Aimee

Zambia.

Two years ago today my feet were walking on African soil. Zambian soil to be exact. Myself and 25 other college students from Southeastern University gave up our comfort zone for two and a half weeks in exchange for Kingdom Business. During the course of those two and a half weeks we saw incredible things. Blind eyes opened, deaf ears restored, people freed from demonic possession, and hundreds of people accept salvation. 

My life was wrecked and my heart was left with that nation. Everyday my heart yearns to go back. There's no place I would rather be than camping in a tent in a village that has never heard the name of Jesus. If doing that everyday for the rest of my life meant winning souls, I would choose that every time. Never in my life have I met a more bonded people group. Never before have I seen a hunger for something so real. I went thinking I would challenge them; but instead it was me that was challenged. 

A phenomenal woman by the name of Beauty said these words to me..."We've prayed someone like you would come. I can see the love you have for my people in your eyes. You were called to do this, don't ever let that go." 

Beauty, I will never let go. God willing, I will return one day. 

Today, at this very moment, most of the 25 students returned to Zambia to continue the work we started two years ago. My heart longs to be there with them. One of the locals who now works with the missionaries there messaged me today to say he wishes I could be there and that I need to come back. It gives me so much hope that people I met two years ago still remember who I am and know that God has called me to be there. 

Lord, here am I...send me. 

heartbreak and healing.

Tonight, I sat in my room thinking of my own self and the people around me, and I became so irritated and heartbroken at the same time. The realization of how many people are hurting is unreal. But I am so sick and tired of people allowing their past to have power over their present and future.

What is it about pain that makes humans hold on? Is it because pain and heartache is self-centered? It's all about you and how you feel. We've become so comfortable having it be about us, so even if that means holding onto pain, we do it. Are we that stuck on ourselves? Are we that desperate for attention?

Yes. I honestly believe we are. That's probably why we don't let God heal us. Because suddenly it's not about us anymore. God healing you would mean he's given your life some type of meaning that doesn't revolve around you, but rather what He has done in you. God forbid He should get the glory he deserves.

Healing and moving on is a challenge. But it's part of being saved. It's part of allowing God to have full control of your life.

Psalm 147:3 (AMP)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].

Psalm 34:18 (MSG)

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there

We've all been hurt. Every person at one point or another has been hurt by someone. But we can't let that control where we go and how we move forward. Because if we do, 1) we might as well still be in the past, and we're not, 2) we're not allowing God to have his rightful place in our lives, and 3) we will not find fulfillment in anything until we allow God to make us whole. Is it easy? Certainly not. Is it necessary? Absolutely. I suppose the only thing left to say is: what are you going to do about it?

Obligatory New Years Post.

Here it is. The end of the world as we know it: 2012. I honestly hate the end of the year and the beginning of a new one. It prompts so much reflecting, which in turn ignites the resolve to change. But the problem is no one stays ignited to change. So, this year, I decided I'm not having a new years resolution. I'm making a daily commitment to God and myself.

• Make Him my world. I've been slacking hard when it comes to reading and prayer, and whether it's a new year or not, I need to be disciplined.
• Smile always
• Complain less
• Never let fear of anything ruin my day or any moment
• Make time to talk to at least one person I haven't seen in a while (1x a week.)
• End everyday with praise
• Love more
• Commit more time to ministry
• No turning back

2011 owned me. Sadly, I spent way to much time wallowing in self pity to even realize what was happening in the world around me. I became so apathetic towards life, I'm appalled at myself. I put my hand over my heart, and I felt it: Purpose. If God is in my life and has saved me, then I have no reason for despair. I have no reason to not live with joy.

So. Here's to a fresh start. Here's to dreaming again. And here's to actually living. No fear, no regrets. Ready, set, go.

yep.

For the past week or so, I've been reflecting on the past- my past- and I found myself reading old journals and blog posts. This week has taught me the huge difference between reflecting on the past and dwelling in the past: but reflect too long, and you'll find yourself staying a lot longer than you had planned. Sometimes it's necessary to take time and look at where you've been so you can see how far you've come.

This past week has also shown me that even when I don't feel or see the hand of God at work in my life, that doesn't mean that God isn't working. Sometimes the process is so slow and painful you don't even realize it's happening. But assuredly, it is. We can know that because God promises to complete the work inside of us. And we know God has never been anything but faithful.

By day or by night, by the good and by the bad, no matter the condition of my heart or my outlook on life, God is still holy. No matter what happens to me, I am held in the hands of the Unchanging One.